Wednesday, 22 May 2013

the lure of freedom

Ah singledom you're a slippery slope alright.

Had cause to have a discussion with a long singled friend recently who has got right in the swing of ''what you  like when you like''.  No partner asking when you're home for dinner. No kids demanding attention at 5 pm. Weekends are long and uneventful, or busy and exciting, depending on...well nothing really.  Money - all for one.  Fridge contents - whatever the heck I want, thank you very much!

I wonder if the novelty ever wears off.  Does it get more difficult to compromise for a significant other, the longer you don't have one?  Does the ability to share eventually disappear?

I am the first to admit that it is, on one horribly selfish level, sometimes easier to live alone.  (Or with children as I do).  There isn't someone to have to share decisions with, negotiate chores with, or cook for.  On the other hand, there's no one to share decisions with, negotiate chores with, or cook for. I've got in the groove of it (5 years now) but it life still feels a bit off-balance.  Even doing it part time is not the same as a permanent in my house partner.

I'm under no illusions, should and when the time comes, there's adjusting to do.  I'm a little scared of it, but mostly see it as exciting and forward thinking.  Ultimately, I'm with my original statement from one of my very first posts - that we human doings are not designed to be alone.

So how about the person who is? Is singledom, for some, a conscious choice, a move toward the act of total non-compromise? Does it become more, or less, attractive, the longer you are in it?

Your thoughts?